Divorcing an Abusive Partner: Legal Steps and Safety Planning

A step-by-step guide to safely separating from a controlling or violent spouse

Leaving an abusive partner is an act of bravery, but also one that must be handled with extreme care. For many survivors, it’s not as simple as packing a bag and walking away. Controlling or violent spouses can be unpredictable, and attempts to leave may escalate their behavior. That’s why it’s crucial to approach the separation with strategic planning and legal protection.

At Dunsing Law, we understand the complex dynamics of abusive relationships. Our goal is to help you separate safely — and legally — while minimizing risk and securing your future.

🔷 Step 1: Prioritize Your Safety Without Alerting Your Spouse

When your partner has a history of threats, control, or violence, any sign that you're planning to leave can be a trigger. Take precautions to protect yourself, including:

• Avoid discussing the divorce until you’ve spoken with an attorney or advocate

• Use safe communication methods (a friend’s phone, a work computer, or incognito browsing)

• Keep your plans secret — don’t write them down or talk about them where you could be overheard

• Speak with a domestic violence counselor to create a plan tailored to your situation

Your safety comes first — and planning discreetly is key.

🔷 Step 2: Create a Safety Plan

Before taking any legal action, develop a concrete safety plan. This includes:

• A safe place to go — a friend’s home, hotel, or domestic violence shelter

• Copies of important documents stored somewhere your spouse can’t access

• A go-bag with clothing, keys, medications, phone charger, and emergency cash

• A trusted contact who knows your situation and can check in

• Clear steps for escape, including how to leave with children if needed

Dunsing Law can connect you with local resources and help ensure your plan is aligned with your legal strategy.

🔷 Step 3: File for a Protection Order

If you fear for your safety or that of your children, you can petition for a temporary civil protection order before filing for divorce. This court order can:

• Prohibit your spouse from contacting or approaching you

• Require them to vacate the home

• Include temporary custody or financial support provisions

Our attorneys can help you file quickly and confidentially — often the same day.

🔷 Step 4: File for Divorce Safely and Strategically

Filing for divorce from an abusive partner must be done with tactical precision. We recommend:

• Filing ex parte (without notifying your spouse ahead of time) in cases of danger

• Requesting emergency orders for custody, support, or access to the home

• Letting your attorney handle all communication and filings, so you stay at a safe distance

At Dunsing Law, we’ll help you navigate the system while keeping your safety top of mind.

🔷 Step 5: Protect Your Children

The court prioritizes children’s safety, especially in households with documented abuse. You may be eligible for:

• Temporary or permanent sole custody

• Supervised visitation for the abusive parent

• Use of a safe exchange site for child hand-offs

We will present your case clearly and firmly, using evidence such as police reports, text messages, or witness testimony if needed.

🔷 Step 6: Secure Your Finances and Property

Abusive spouses often control money — but that doesn’t mean they keep it all in a divorce. In Colorado, property is divided equitably, not 50/50. We work to:

• Identify hidden assets

• Request spousal support (alimony) if you’ve been financially dependent

• Protect your share of marital property, even if you weren’t the one managing it

We’re relentless in securing your financial stability after separation.

🔷 Step 7: Build Ongoing Support and Security

The divorce decree isn’t the end of your journey. Post-divorce steps may include:

• Changing your phone number, locks, passwords, and routines

• Keeping your protection order on hand

• Staying in contact with your lawyer or support advocate

• Monitoring and documenting any violations or threats

Your new life deserves peace, freedom, and support. We’ll help you continue moving forward.

💙 You Deserve to Be Safe — and We’re Here to Help

Divorcing an abusive spouse is overwhelming — legally, emotionally, and physically. At Dunsing Law, we’ve helped many survivors take this life-changing step with strength and dignity. Let us stand beside you.

📞 Call us today at (303) 807-1242 or visit dunsing-law.com to schedule a confidential consultation.